Brigham's Memorial - "A Real Boy" by Emily Reneer

My brother Brigham loved all things Disney – the music, the movies and Disneyland itself. It truly was one of his happiest places on earth. At the beginning of each of our Disneyland trips it became our family tradition to visit the Pinocchio attraction first. Brigham was our Pinocchio. He wasn’t a puppet made of wood; but, like Pinocchio, he had a body that was different. When the Blue Fairy visited Pinocchio in Geppetto’s toy shop, she promised Pinocchio, “Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday, you will be a real boy.” I love my brother Brigham. Life was hard for him. He was brave, truthful, and unselfish. He was also valiant, courageous and long-suffering and of course, he was a real boy.

Since his body didn’t work very well, Brigham didn’t get to participate in lots of normal activities that the rest of us kids get to do. I remember a couple of months ago my mom wheeled Brigham into our backyard and told me to let Brigham watch me and my sister Ella and my brother Yaw play. He sat in his wheelchair/stroller as the rest of us jumped on the trampoline, rode bikes and played on the swing set. Yaw is new to our family and he didn’t understand why Brigham just sat. “Emily,” he asked, “Why can’t Brigham play?” For many years, I bet my brother Brigham had wondered that too. My brother’s diseases hurt him physically, but I’m sure they hurt him emotionally too. He, of course, never complained.

Brig’s disease was hard for me emotionally too. I hated seeing him in pain. I also hated seeing him made fun of. The first time I can remember people ridiculing Brigham was at Disneyland several years ago and I was young – younger than I am now anyway. I was with my cousins. We were all standing in line to buy our passes to get in. Not too far from us, there was a boy that was pointing his finger and laughing at Brigham. I was so mad and so sad all at the same time. I wanted to tell this boy how hurtful his actions were. I realized then that being Brigham and being Brigham’s sister wasn’t always easy.

Brigham loved the movie Dumbo. Dumbo is the baby elephant born with ears a few sizes too big. Dumbo’s life wasn’t always easy either. As Dumbo’s ears were first revealed, the other elephants gasped.

“Is it possible?” asked one.

“Isn’t there some mistake?” wondered another.

“Just look at those . . . those . . . E A R S!”

“Oh, aren’t they funny?” laughed another.

“They are funny!” agreed another.

Brigham, like Dumbo, was innocent of wrongdoing and did nothing to warrant mocking or the other problems he faced But, as you know, Dumbo uses his ears to fly and soar and triumphs in the end. Brigham did the same.

He triumphed by living with his pain and disabilities and enjoying life anyway. Brigham loved his animals. He loved Mighty Joe and Olive, our dogs. He loved Joe Willow and Perky the ponies. He loved to go fishing and would try and kiss those fish and then throw them back in the water.

He loved outings in the car and outings in his wheelchair. I’ll miss pushing Brig around our neighborhood in his chair. I am so lucky I got to do that.

He loved birthday parties. Sometimes my mom gave him two a year. He always had a theme – Tarzan, Magic show, and the fire department through him the biggest party bash ever. Brig loved them all.

I will miss going to Disneyland with him. I’ll miss seeing him standing up in the boat and bounce and sing in excitement as we would ride “It’s a Small World After All”. And belting it as loud as he could Disneyland will be one of my last memories with my brother Brigham. We were there a few days before he died.

As his MPS progressed, , he became more and more limited in what he could do. He spent more and more time reading and watching his much loved movies. Especially Disney but he did have his other favorites like “My Dog Skip” and “The Black Stallion”. My dad figures Brig watched the Black Stallion more times than any other human on the planet! We own 4 copies – all of them scratched, worn and well-used!

I loved watching Brigham watch his movies. He was so happy and excited as he sat and viewed his favorite movies over and over and then over some more. They were always tales with heart-warming messages that helped him forget about, his “worries and his strifes.” Jungle Book was a favorite and the last movie he watched.

Brigham loved to sing. He loved singing along with movies. He loved singing at church as well. And for everyone at Sacrament meeting it was easy to hear his love of music. His voice could be heard above all others. Years ago, we could understand his words and feel his joy. More recently, he couldn’t form the words, but his sounds were heard and his unconquerable spirit was felt all the more.

I’ll miss everything about Brigham. I will also miss seeing the many, many nice things people did for Brigham. Our family was so lucky to know all of you. Brigham was too. Thank you.

I remember lots of great teachers at Wasatch. I got to go to Wasatch Elementary with Brig for about 5 years. I am grateful for his wonderful aides, teachers and friends. I know the people at Centennial Junior High loved him and took such good care of him for the 2 hours while he was there, riding his tricycle. . A week before he died he rode three miles. That just shows you how tough Brig was. He pedaled over 400 miles of hallways at Centennial this year. My mom and Dad think this helped him live as long as he did. He also enjoyed his bus rides to and from school under good care from loving bus drivers and bus aides who made a special bus stop just for Brig on our busy street. Brig literally stopped traffic.

I am grateful to youth in our ward who would come over and read to Brigham and take him on walks in his wheelchair.

There were so many nice people doing so many nice things: ponies, jacuzzi, Mickey Mouse ship, making our playroom a safer place to be, Tarzan treehouse, fundraising for us, skiing, hockey games. In Brigs last days hockey was the only sport Brig would actually sit still and watch. There are so many more acts of kindness. I am grateful for all of you.

In the Bible, in Matthew chapter 25, there’s a famous verse about serving people. Jesus says “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

I hope all of you will be blessed for your kind acts to our family. Thank you for serving us. Thank you for seeing past Brigham’s disabilities and seeing a person of worth.

Brigham was a person of worth. All of you are and so am I. That is one of the great things I have learned by being Brigham’s sister. Everybody matters and everyone is a person of infinite worth. It’s a value we talk about in Young Women and it means a lot to me. I know Brigham knew who he was.

Last week, while Brig was dying, I was finishing up an essay at school. The subject was How I Would Change the World. I wrote in my essay that I wish I could instill courage and increased self-worth in every individual around the world. Brigham had courage. He was a fighter. When we believe in ourselves and who we are we can all have the courage to do hard things and make the world better.

Brigham made the world better. In one of his Disney favorites, Mulan’s father tells Mulan, “The greatest gift, and honor, is having you for a daughter.”

For me, the greatest gift was having Brigham for a brother.

I’ve also learned gratitude over these years. I’m grateful for my parents that worked so hard all the time for Brig, and for me and Yaw and Ella. I’m grateful for all the kind people that served Brigham and our family. I’ve learned to be so grateful for my body – my healthy body. I want to keep it that way. None of us should ever mess up our bodies with drugs, alcohol and other harmful things.

I’m learning patience and faith in Heavenly Father’s plan for our family. Many times Brigham watched Cinderella and in that movie, the fairy godmother tells the would-be princess “Even miracles take a little time.” I’ve learned that is true. Our miracle will take place in the next life when we’re all reunited with a healthy and strong Brigham.

I do believe there is life after this life, just like I believe there was life before this life. Our Church teaches this and I know it is true. In Dumbo, the stork delivers the baby elephant and announces “Here is a baby with eyes of blue, straight from heaven, right to you.” I do believe in Heaven. I’m not sure storks have much to do with it, but I know we lived there before coming here.

In the Pearl of Great Price, it says we were all spirits in Heaven before we came to this earth.

Brigham’s gone back to Heaven now. I doubt he is watching movies up there, however, he might be watching over Ella and Yaw so they don’t seriously hurt themselves. Sometimes they can be kind of crazy.

After the resurrection, Brigham will get that healthy body he didn’t have during this life. If my family keeps the commandments, we’ll all get to live with him again. That’s so amazing. I’m excited for that and I’m grateful for the Savior who suffered and died for us. He makes all this possible.

In conclusion, I have to reference one more Disney favorite of Brigham’s: Hercules. In this movie, there’s a song called “Go the Distance.” Which my beautiful cousins just sang for you Brigham loved this song. He used to sing it loudly, “WOULD GO THE DISTANCE.” This song is meaningful because Brig loved it, but also because the words parallel Brigham’s life.

I often dreamed of a far off place

Where a great warm welcome

Will be waiting for me.

Where the crowds will cheer

When they see my face

And a voice keeps saying

This is where I’m meant to be.

I will find my way

I can go the distance

I’ll be there someday.

If I can be strong

I know every mile will be worth my while.

I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong.

Brigham did go the distance. He was strong. He must have had crowds cheering for him as he arrived in Heaven – welcoming him and congratulating him for running such a courageous race. His distance was shorter than it is for most people and harder than it is for many people, but he was strong and I think that Heavenly Father has decided he does belong – in Heaven.

Brigham has taught me courage and I want to go the distance too. My Dad, Mom, Yaw, Ella and I belong with Brigham. We belong to each other. Yaw was sealed to my family just six days before Brigham died. We were all together in the temple dressed in white. I know what it feels like to belong to a forever family in a place that’s like Heaven. We all will go the distance.

Lastly, I want to quote from Pinocchio. Brigham loved this dialogue between Geppetto and Pinocchio and he would repeat parts of it frequently.

PINOCCHIO: Father, whatcha crying for?

GEPPETTO: Because . . . you’re dead, Pinocchio.

PINOCCHIO: No! No, I’m not.

GEPPETTO: Yes. Yes, you are. Now, lie down. . .

PINOCCHIO: But father, I’m alive. See? And . . . and I’m . . . I’m real. I’m a real boy!

GEPPETTO: You’re alive! And . . . you are a real boy!

I know that Brigham is alive and that he is a real boy. He proved himself brave, truthful, and unselfish. He was always a real boy -- the most real person I have ever known.

I love you Brigham and I’m grateful for the gospel and the peace I feel.